Do I understand grace?
From his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. John 1:16
This weekend as one of our kiddos was struggling with some bad choices, I was wanting to show some grace. But then I had the thought- This munchkin doesn’t understand grace. And therefore I began to doubt and question.. Should I show grace? As processed through all that was in my head and then the desire of my heart to show grace, I was stopped short. This child of mine might not understand it but do I understand grace? Do any of us really understand grace- God’s grace? His grace in all of its fullness. John 1:16 says, “From His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.” Do we really comprehend that grace and that much of it? Grace upon grace?
I decided to read what grace means. “love and mercy given to us by God because God desires us to have it, not because of anything we have done to earn it “ and “generous, free and totally unexpected and undeserved.” God showed me grace on the cross. He didn’t show it because I did anything at all to earn it. He showed me grace in my salvation and it is free and oh so undeserved! “For by grace you have been saved through faith, that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God.” It is a gift!! He continues to show me His grace and mercy each and every day. I fail. I try hard to walk in His steps, but it is hard and I mess up… all the time! But God continues to forgive me. He continues to be there in all of His graciousness.
So as I consider does my munchkin understand grace, the answer is probably no. But when I turn the tables and ask do I really understand grace, the answer is the same. I pray I begin to more fully understand God’s grace-What about you?

What a difference two years makes

It is so very hard to believe that it has been 2years since Moriah and Silas joined our family. In some ways it has been long and in other ways the time has flown by. There has been so much growth and change. We picked up two scared, Lingala speaking, malnourished kiddos who had left the only life they had every known. They had gotten on a plane to fly across the globe to be brought to people whom they had never met and who talked and looked so very different.
We hit many bumps in the early days. We had to battle parasites for a year. We had to teach boundaries. We had to teach eating, but not gorging. We had to learn what family was. We took this all as baby steps and some of the steps were even steps backwards.
However, we made it through year one. We were wiser and our faith was deeper. Yet the journey was still challenging often times. The hard part of the journey is most people don't understand the "post-adoption" journey. It is not as "glamorous" as the road to adoption. It often felt lonely and overwhelming. But we made it through the hardest days and some awesome days.
We now have made it through an additional year! Moriah and Silas have changed in so many ways. Gone are the thin arms and legs and sad, scared faces. Now there is some meat and muscle as well as smiles and laughter. English is now fluent and at most times easily spoken. They understand boundaries, although like all children they love to test them at times. They give awesome hugs and kisses and enjoy being part of this family we call The Thomas Crew! And most importantly they have now heard about Jesus! They hear stories about Him, sing songs and talk to Him and we pray one day they will come to know Him as Lord and Savior! We have been wowed by the growth and by how far we have come. Gone are the days of tears from this momma from feeling oh so overwhelmed. Instead I now look forward to the adventure that each days brings. And some days it is such a wild adventure. I continue to utter sentences that I never expected to say-
-"Please don't play leapfrog while your naked."
-"No licking other people."
-"Please do not bite your TOEnails while we are praying."
And the list goes on!!
Despite the ups and downs and sometimes craziness, I am so glad God put us on this journey! Our faith has grown. My dependence on Christ has grown. I realized I couldn't mother these precious 5 without Him. I am thankful God has given me these "gifts." They are His forever. I cannot wait to see all He has in store for each one of them. We pray that He uses them in great and mighty ways for His kingdom!
What a difference TWO years makes...

God's plans-not Carrie's

We received an email this week from a grant we had applied for over a year ago. It was one we felt sure that we would receive, but we never did. Well, they were emailing to let us know they were ready to proceed with helping us. It was so awesome to be able to say-"thanks for considering us, but our kiddos our home!" After emailing them though, I started thinking about my plans versus God's plans. As I have stated before, I am a planner. I think through things way too much. As you saw through our journey, God worked to teach me patience and of HIS faithful provision. We began this whole process of adopting with less than $1,000 to go towards it. The funds we were going to need seemed so far out of reach. Being the planner, I started figuring out "how" God would/should provide for adoption. In my figuring I had counted on this grant that I just spoke of... the one we did not get before the children came home. I also had counted on receiving a Show Hope grant. I don't know why, but I just thought it would be one God would use. I also had figured God would provide through a Facebook fundraiser, just as we had seen Him do with other families. Well, guess what??? He used NONE of the ways I planned!! Instead God provided the finances in HIS way- bit by bit, step by step. He provided just over $50,000 in about 18 months!! Who else could take the tiny bit we had an multiply it fifty fold??!! I am so glad that God is in control and not me!!! On another sort of note- tonight I decided to read back through our entire blog before writing. I was overcome with emotion when I read back through this journey and God's provision. It still seems so very hard to believe that Moriah and Silas are here. It feels like they have always been here. I cannot imagine our family without them. GOD IS SOOO GOOD!!!

I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to post an update. All during our adoption journey I followed other adoption blogs. I loved seeing the stories unfold and seeing God bring precious children home to their forever families. The one "problem" I had was that once the adoptions were complete, the famlies stopped updating. I was so set on not doing that. I wanted to make sure to continue blogging after the children were home. Well, despite my good intentions, I am not doing so well at updating. I think now I understand though why parents stop blogging. It's called life:) Life gets busy... busier and well blogging gets overlooked. Life is now busier, but it's a good kind of busy. When Moriah and Silas first came home there were many adjustments. We had to slow life way down and we had to pick and choose what the children could handle. We became very intentional in how we spent our time and how we interacted with them. our children had experienced a whole part of a life that we knew nothing about. They had then left that life all they knew and were now here in our family. So we worked and continue to work to help them through this transition. They both are doing so very well. We have truly been blessed. We have had tough times, even challenging ones. However, overall things are going so well. Moriah and Silas are slowly attaching and bonding with us. I still do not think they understand exactly what family means or that this would be FOREVER. But we continue to work to build relationships. Many people have asked how our attachment is going. Well, that is a loaded question. Many assume that hearing our kiddos call us "mommy" and "daddy" is progress. Well I guess that is sort of true. But if we had taught them to call us "Bert" and "Ernie" they would have done that too. (I think "mommy" and "daddy" is much more fitting!) But just calling us that, does not mean they understand it. It is our prayer that with time they will learn what it means. We are slowly assimilating at church. We have been taking it slow. While both children would probably allow us to drop them off without a tear or backward glance, that is not good nor is it our goal. We have read about attachment and asked questions of people who "know." so we continue to watch for these signs. Caring that we leave is a "sign" of attachment. There are also many others. Part of our goal and desire for a healthy bond and attachment is what prompted us to ask other people to not hold our kiddos or be super affectionate with them. It was not in order to be mean or selfish, but instead was a goal to build on the relationship of our family. We are thankful that most have been so very understanding, supportive and encouraging of this. We are so thankful to be almost three months into our new family and new part of life! We are pleased at the growth we are seeing. Attachment is slowly happening. The children have overcome several minor health issues. They are gaining weight... a little too well. They are both learning English at an amazing rate. We can not wait to see how they continue to grow and develop and how our family bonds!! It is our continued prayer that God will create healhty relationships and that everything will continue to go so well!! Thank you so much for following us and praying for us!! We promise to do better at updating you on our progress! In fact i have already started another post to put up soon and have an idea for yet another one:)

Silas' birthday

Today was Silas' birthday. When he woke up this morning we tried to explain to him that today was his birthday. Dave even looked up the french word for birthday, but Silas still was not so sure what we were talking about. We held off on celebration and gift till the evening. We knew we wanted to keep things very simple, so as not to overwhelm him so tonight we had a small party at home to celebrate our new little guy's 4th birthday. We had decided that instead of cake, Krispy Kreme doughnuts would be a good fit. He LOVES them. So tonight put candles in a doughnut and sang "Happy Birthday." He was not so sure what Mommy was doing with the candles and fire. I think he worried I would mess up his doughnut.



After we had our doughnuts we opened presents. He was careful and cautious at first, but once he got started and realized there were toys in the bags and paper... he was hooked. I was so pleased with how the whole evening went.
However, it is sad to think that this was the first party ever given to him. The toys he received are probably the first things that he has had that are truly his. But I am glad that he is now home and that he is our little guy forever.
He is adjusting so very well and learning English quickly. He is a precious little guy with a contagious laugh. We are so thankful that God has placed Silas in our home!!
I promise I will try to do better at updating:)

Adoption Finally complete!

Today we appeared before a chancellor in court to finalize our adoption. This process officially changed their names, allows them to have TN birth certificates and secures their citizenship. So we proudly introduce you to Silas Kayembe and Moriah Makengo, two of the newest US citizens.
I don't really know what we were expecting, but this was essentially a non-event. It took longer to find a parking place and get inside the city county building than it did for the process to be handled. At any rate, its done. The last step in this journey of adoption is complete and we are happy to have 5 children: each one our very own blessing from God.

One month home

It is so hard to believe that Silas and Moriah have been home for one month!! It some ways it feels like they have been here forever, in other ways it is all still so new.
It has been a great month of firsts.
First french fries
First Ice Cream- which they don't like how cold it is
First pets- Sadie and the chickens
First American haircut for Silas
First ride in a carseat
First bike ride
First Salsarita's- they love it, just like the rest of us
First playground and tire swing
First Bible Story
First Family prayer time
It has been a month of many firsts. It has been fun introducing the kids to new things. However, it is hard knowing that while their lives are so much better here... they have lost all that is familiar. New situations are still overwhelming to them, but overall they are doing well. We ask that you continue to pray for us as we grow as a family. Pray for Silas and Moriah as they learn about family and love. We will try to update again soon!

Attachment

We are so glad to have Moriah and Silas home. Many of you have asked how we are doing...We are doing well! It is so hard to believe that our kiddos have been home for a little over three weeks now. We are slowly getting settled in and learning about each other. Moriah and Silas are both sleeping and eating wonderful. They are both healthy and doing well.
The journey to where we are now was long, but we are glad to have made it!
The challenging part now is "attachment." Before beginning this journey, I had no idea what that meant. And really even as we read and watched videos to prepare for the arrival of our children, it was a foreign concept. You see, the hard part in adopting is for the child to become attached to their new family. Both of our children are old enough that they have a past and memories. But they also have no real concept of what it means to be in a family, to be loved and to have someone always there for them. The goal we have now is to teach them that... to reassure them that we will be their forever family. Just think, they were brought to us from halfway around the globe. They do not understand what we are saying and their whole world is brand new, there is nothing familiar.
As many of you know, we are not taking the children to class at church and we are also asking that people not hold or pick them up. That sounds so very strange to someone not in our shoes, it sounded strange to us before we were here. Many of you have asked why we are doing things this way.
Think about a child you know, they walk away from their mommy and daddy and see a new person. They stop and look at the new face and in caution then wander back to mom and dad. Or imagine a little one who stumbles and falls. They begin to cry and reach for mommy or daddy. Well our two new precious ones at this point would not necessarily react that way. They will reach for ANYONE. They will let anyone, stranger or family pick them up. They will climb into anyone's lap. At first, that seems so great- they are so friendly- but the opposite is actually true. They don't know any better.
So, while all this may seem strange or foreign- we are trying to do what is best for our children. It is hard to have two precious ones that you love so very much, but who at this point have no connection back to you. It is our hope through much intentionality, through caution, through prayer and time that our children will realize we love them and are there for them- FOREVER!!
Please pray for our family as God is continuing to knit us together. Pray for Moriah and Silas to attach to us. Pray for wisdom for us as we make decisions regarding what is best for them. And please be patient... one day they will be ready to be picked up and held:)

Picture Collage

 

So grateful

This afternoon our church hosted a reception to welcome home Moriah and Silas. People dropped by to welcome the kids and some even gave precious gifts. As I was thinking about the blessing of these wonderful people, it reminded me of many more blessings and so much more we have to be thankful for.
We are thankful for all of the people who have loved and supported us through this journey. We know so many of you have prayed for us and continue to do so. We also know so many of you helped with the finances of bringing home our children. You donated to yard sales and purchased from those same sales. You ate Froyoz, Rita's, Chickfila and Salsarita's. You planned and played in a golf tournament. You donated through pay pal or to a matching grant. You prayed as we applied for grants and celebrated with us when we received them.
God used each of you in different ways to help bring this adoption to fruition.
We are so very grateful for each and everyone of you and the part you played in getting our children home!! We are also grateful to God for His provision and His work.
We continue to be blessed by so many of you who are checking on us, cooking for us and continuing to pray.
We know that the simple words thank you cannot not fully express our gratitude, but it is all that we have to offer. So, THANK YOU. To God be the glory, great things He has done!

Introduction to our precious ones

We realized tonight that we had not updated our blog in a bit. We would like to use this post to introduce you to our children.
Silas is 3 years old. He is super ticklish and has an amazing smile that lights up a room. We can already see that he is going to enjoy being a "ham." He loves his siblings and enjoys playing. He is learning English a bit at a time and loves to copy words we say. Our favorite things he says now are "ha-llo" and "bye-o" (his way of saying hi and bye). He is a great sleeper and eater. There is not much he won't eat. He has a bit of a stubborn side. He is not a fan of the word NO. He has taken many trips to the time-out chair. But each day he is making less trips there. I think he just wants to make sure Dave and I are serious:)He is slowly learning about family and routine. He especially loves his daddy.
Moriah is almost 19 months old. She is such a cutie. She is easy going- although she does have a talent for turning the tears on and off as needed. She is more of a mommy's girl. She likes to carry a purse or wear a bracelet. She loves having her siblings give her rides in the baby doll stroller! I think she would let them push her all day if we let them. She likes to be held. She too is a great sleeper and eater. She will try any food, but some of the faces she makes are quite humorous.
This post is mostly about our new additions, but I don't want to forget about our 3 oldest kiddos...
Micah has been a huge help. He loves to carry Moriah and help Silas. He enjoys being the biggest brother. I have been amazed to see how he is growing up especially during this time of transition.
Jackson is also enjoying being a big brother. He is our peacemaker and wants to make sure everyone is happy and included. He likes giving his new brother and sister hugs and love. He likes to copy what Silas says in French and act like he is having a conversation with him.
Karis has adjusted so well. I had worried about this being a huge change especially for her, but she has handled it so well. She is 4 now, as she frequently reminds us. She says this makes her braver and "able to put pepper on her own food." She is a good big sister! She is the "leader" when she plays with Moriah and Silas and likes to teach them how to play.
We are so thankful for each of theses precious personalities that make up our "crew." They have all transitioned beautifully. Each day improves as we settle into this new part of our journey.

Life so far

All five children are in bed asleep, so I thought I would take a moment to update everyone...
We have been home since Tuesday evening. We came home to several wonderful meals, a decorated home and some friends and family to welcome us home. We have since been to the pediatrician and to the hospital for standard tests. So far everything looks good from a medical stand point.
The children- all five of them- seem to be adjusting well. We have had a few tough moments, but we know God is in control. Micah, Jackson and Karis are being great siblings and are each very helpful. Silas Kayembe is a giggle box. He laughs alot and is very ticklish. He has a bit of an issue with the word "no" but we are working on that. Moriah Makengo is a vacuum when it comes to food and is very easygoing. She does have a knack for turning the tears on and off as needed.
God has been so faithful on this journey. We are so thankful for the prayers. Please continue to pray for as as we transition and adjust. Pray that Silas and Moriah will attach well and will learn what it means to have a family.
I will update again... soon hopefully!

Pictures

Here is a link to our public facebook photo album. Check back for updates.

They are home!!

Tonight we welcome home and into our family...Silas Kayembe and Moriah Makengo. It is so hard to believe they are finally here. Headed to bed, we will post more soon.
Thank you for all the prayers... Keep them up!
You can see pictures on Facebook. We will try to get some on here too.

Not long now

We left yesterday to drive to Kentucky. The trip took four hours and went great. We had dinner with some dear friends. And then came back to the hotel for the kiddos to swim. Today we are going to Bass Pro and then heading on to Indiana. The flights arrive this evening. We cannot wait!, we will try to update tonight.
Please pray fro continued traveling mercies. Pray also for a smooth transition of the children to us.

2 days

Well, Sunday is the beginning of the end of this adventure. Sunday after lunch we will leave to go get our children. We will have a full van-all 3 kiddos and both grandmothers will make the journey. We will drive to Louisville to spend the night and then Monday we will drive the rest of the way.
While we are driving to Louisville our children will board a plane. They will leave the country of their birth and make the long flight to us... To their mommy and daddy, brothers and sister, to their new family and new home!
Please pray for all of us as travel takes place. Pray for everyone to adjust well.
We will keep you updated!

6 days

It is so hard to believe that we are down to 6 days until we pick up our children! This time next week we should be back in Knoxville putting five kiddos to bed... Or at least trying to. This time next week we will begin settling into the new normal. I cannot wait! Many of you have asked if we are nervous, scared or overwhelmed. At this point we are mostly just excited. We do feel a tiny bit anxious, as this is huge. But we are trusting God to continue guiding our steps.
We are thankful that God is continuing to provide. The thermometer is getting more red! He is providing in wonderful and amazing ways- ways that can only be credited to Him!
Please continue to pray!!

Travel planning

We are so sorry that it has taken a few days to pass along any further news. Life has been quite busy!! It is so hard to believe that we finally have a travel date!!
Our children will be in the states on October 10. It is our plan to take the whole family to pick them up. We have gone back and forth on that decision, but have decided that this is a once in a lifetime experience. So we will all load up in our big ole van and make the trip. Our moms have each agree to join us on the trip.
We are now busy trying to finalize hotel plans and logistics. We are also trying to make lists of what we need to purchase, questions for our agency, things to pack and calls to make.
God is continuing to work as we draw near to the day the children arrive home. Please continue to pray for things to go smoothly. Pray we all stay healthy. Pray for God's continued provision.
Only 11 days till we hold those precious little ones that we have waited for!!!!!!!!!

Visas

We received a totally unexpected email today from our adoption agency. We had really not expected to hear from them on a Saturday and actually not until another week or so. Well, we were wrong. We received an email early this morning letting us know that the kiddos have their visas!!! We were so excited.
About an hour later we received another email letting us know that they will be home October 10!! That date is still tentative, but we should hear for sure on Monday. On Monday we will have alot more details and will begin making travel plans. Monday we should also know where we stand in regards to finances.
We ask that you please pray as all these details come together. We also ask that you pray for all of us as we prepare and plan. And lastly please pray for finances.
We will update as soon as we know more. Thanks for praying and thanks for following!!

Short update

Today we had to go to Nashville to be re-fingerprinted for our adoption. The whole process took less than 30 minutes. The fingerprints are used to make sure that we have clean backgrounds. We had them done almost a year and a half ago, but they were about to expire. It was a long day driving, but we are glad to have it done.
We still do not have visas, so we ask that you continue to pray regarding them. We know that God is in control and His timing is perfect. I was reminded of this when reading our munchkins their devotion the other night.
We do have some good news though. Today we were blessed with another generous gift towards our adoption fund. God blessed us with $900 through a precious family who has also experienced adoption. God is so good! I have said it before and I am sure I will again- HE is our provider!