Struggling

As much as I love to talk, I am not great at letting out my thoughts and feelings when it means admitting a struggle I have. But here goes...
Well, currently I am struggling through this adoption journey. I am so excited God has called us to this task... but the road is though, especially the financial part. I am one who likes to have control and have everything in a nice neat package. Well adoption does not work that way, especially for a family like us who is raising the money to adopt. I can work hard and fill out every single paper. I can read every document and do everything exactly like I am instructed. However, I can not speed things up. I also can not make money come in or write a check for this adoption.(Well I guess I could write one, but it would bounce!) That part is all in God's hands! And that is the hard part for me at times. I know that my God is faithful. I know that He has called us to this and I know He will provide. But I am sometimes like the Israelites. I doubt. Despite seeing God work in great ways in the past, I still have times when my faith falters and I fell overwhelmed with doubt. I try to work out math in my head for this adoption and it does not work. God's math is so different than my math. What seems impossible to me is possible through HIM alone!
Please pray for me/us as we trust God to provide. We have raised half of our first payment, but we still need almost $4,000 just to get past this first part of the journey. That number includes the 2nd half of our initial payment for both our adoption and home study agency. It also includes the payment for our application for our I600A, which is our application to be able to adopt an orphan. I am ready to get this first stage complete, because that puts us so much closer to adding to our family!
Oh and thanks so much to each of you for following our journey.